AstigMantism About

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Me. Myself and I

Im getting old, and starting to think what will happen to me when I grow old. I am praying to grow up with someone to share my life with. Until now, I haven't found that person. Or maybe I have but for some reasons, I'm still wearing this "singles badge". I dunno if there's something wrong with me. Oh well, maybe I am not physically attractive but I know deep within, I have this heart that I am willing to give to anyone who deserves. Though this heart have been broken several times, time healed the wounds and picked up the pieces together.

Yesterday I asked myself, "why do people don't take me seriously?". In my mind I answered this question with, maybe you don't let them see that you are worthy. Sighs.... I am jolly and love to joke around. People, most of the time go beyond their boundaries thinking it's ok. My life is an open book, people think they can just look at it, play, and make fun of it. Reality is, I am not as cool as what you can see. I am very sensitive. I get easily offended especially when people say I always fool around. It feels really bad... breaks my heart.

To continue with my journey to life, I will keep waiting. As of the homility in our churchr said, Love is Patient. And that's what I always keep on my mind. Someday I know, you will come, and by the time that happens, I am ready to start something new again.

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Unappreciated"

by AstigManticism

I know deep within myself I did my part but still to others I’m not good enough. I don’t know what to do. Everything feels overwhelming at first, but as time goes by it feels embarrassing and sad to say a burden on my part that is why I’m ready to almost give up. I didn’t pray for this that I have,that others are dreaming and hoping. That’s what I’ve been feeling these past few days, and I know you can relate, because every human being on this planet goes through these periods of agony. It doesn’t matter how successful you are.Success doesn’t give you immunity from humanity. During periods like these, I want to catapult myself into bed and hide under my sheets. And it doesn’t help that the sheets smell nice and are fluffy. One of the problems today is that people aren’t honest enough, expecting too much from others and don’t appreciate things that I think should be appreciated. They have no problem telling you how much money they’ve made, but when it comes to feeling like a failure, they keep their lips tight and their fingers in their pockets. It makes it all seem like you shouldn’t feel the way you do. But the truth is that whatever you’re going through is normal. I may sound bitter but I think this is theonly way I could do to unleashed and voice out my feelings. Im not expecting to receive a merit or any award but at least to appreciate small things that Im doing is enough. A tap on my shoulder for a job well done is enough to reciprocate my effort.

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~We tend to long for certainty and comfort and ease and structure. But the truth is, it’s in the midst of the uncertain and dark and unclear and broken times that we learn who we really are and what we’re capable of.

So if today you’re going through it, know that it’s because you’re being prepared to come out someone entirely different on the other side.

No pressure, no diamonds.

No pain, no pearl.

No cocoon, no butterfly.

It all creates you and forms you and strengthens you and polishes you. The good times might create memories, but the bad times cultivate character and grace and inner beauty.~

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ~1 Peter 1:6"