when he looked over at me and said that i almost fainted when i saw that smile,i was for once in my life speechless,he had to tell me what too say. hi i said uh,im greg.i dont know how i managed to spit it out im even more suprised at the fact that i was renderd speechless since that never happens too me.

"so greg,where are you headed?" he asked

"im going to north carolina to be with friends." i told him.he then told me that he was on his way to new york to take care of some business that he had been putting off but finally felt that the time was right for it. he just wouldnt tell me what it was that he had too do.so i didnt pry since it really wasnt any of my business,still i was curious though.

for the next hour or so we just sat there and talked about where we were from it was really the normal small talk that you have with the person you are sitting with on a bus or airplane.but the thing about me and him talking was that it was so easy,talking to him was as natural as taking my next breath in the sense that i didnt even have to think of what to say,i was just so mesmerized by his eyes and his smile that i kept on asking him questions so that he would have to sit there and look at me.

we had so much in common,we both were obsessed with skating,eminem we also liked the same movies and tv shows.i was starting to think that me and caz were supposed too meet.

once we got to helelna montana it was time too change busses.when we got off the bus caz skated right over too me and made sure that me and him were going to be on the same bus the rest of the way,we checked our tickets and thankfully we were.

after i was done smoking i went in to use the bathroom and of course caz was right on my heels going into the bathroom too.i noticed there was nobody else in there so of course a million thoughts were running through my mind.but i never expected caz to come up right behind me and grab my arm and turn me around kiss me so passionatly that it gave me chills,i felt a fire in my jeans  threatening to engulf my whole body and take control of me.the way he kissed me while twisiting my hair in his fingers on the back of my head.when we walked out of the bathroom he asked me if thats what i was waiting for him too do."was it that obvious?" i asked.he told me it was but thats ok,he said that he was wanting to do that since he saw me when he got on the bus.that comment made shocked me,i never in my wildest dream would of thought that a boy that looked like caz would want anything to do with me,dont get me wrong,i mean im a good looking guy and have never had a problem getting anybody whether it was a boy or a girl but still i was suprised.

when we went to sit down to wait for our next bus we decided to sit away from everybody else cause we were in montana and the people there in the bus depot looked pretty scary and we didnt want anybody messing with us,i mean we could of taken care of ourselves and all but why ask for twouble ? i mean we were two kinda obvious gay guys in a small hick town.well we decided to go sit up against a wall and and wait the two hours that we had.

while we were waiting i stretched out my legs and caz layed his head in my lap and fell asleep.the one thought that kept crossing my mind while i was rubbing his hair and watching him dream was "oh my god,im going to fall for this guy and im only going to know him for three more days",i couldnt let that happen,no way! when it was time to go get on the bus caz asked me to go get him a bottle of water so he could take his pills,after asking what they were for and him not telling me i went and got it.from the time we very started talking i knew something was wrong,he lookied way too pale and just a little bit clamy but i wasnt going to say anything.when we got on the bus and were on our way he took my hand and layed his head on my shoulder.after a little while he started coughing really bad,it didnt sound good at all.but when he took a tissue out of his pocket and covered his mouth to cough i noticed that it was red after he pulled it away.scared as hell i asked him what was wrong,he looked at me for what seemed like forever and then told me that he was in the last stages of leukemia.he also told me the reason that he was going to new york was to die.

i felt the tears gushing down my face.i couldnt believe what this beautiful young guy was telling me.

gooing too die ? i asked.what do you mean ?

he said that for the last two months he had been in severe pain and just couldnt take it anymore so he decided to pack one cary on bag with just a few things in it and travel cross country on a bus so that he could see what the different states looked like before he went to new york to take his own life.

 as soon as i heard those words i felt sick to my stomch.he said it all with a smile on his face,just as if he had said that he was just going there to see an old friend.i couldnt understand it.

"no,i wont let you,dont talk like that.how could you think of something like that?" i said.

"greg,ive tried everything,when the doctors told me that i was sick they also told me that there was nothing that they could do.the leukemia is killing me and i want to go out when i say its time,now when some invisible disease says it time too go."

i felt my stomach start to cramp,i started to get light headed and though yet again i was going to pass out.he seemed so happy and content on killing himself.that was the saddest part,he was actually going too do it.

i told him that there was no way i could let him do it.i even told him that i wanted to take him home to littleton with me but he said that he didnt want to go somewhere he dosent know and be around people he had never met.he wanted to go be in the big city and see his friends one last time.

"i cant let you die caz,you are my friend.ive only known you for a really short time and i know that but i already dont want too loose you,i...cant let you do this."

"come with me then,i dont want to ask any of my other friends to be there and i really dont want to die alone,what do you say,grant a dying mans one last wish?"

i couldnt believe what i was hearing,first he says he is going too kill himself and now he tries to guilt trip me ! this kid was unbelievable...but i agreed.

to ba continued